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- TEKDIFF (teknikal diffikulties)-


Comedic ramblings for a confused generation (not this one, the previous one. Geez.)

Halloween is candy night.

Oct 19, 2008

This is important.  This is crucial.  This is the truth about Halloween.
Give Kids Candy. Period.

This is not a night about your frigging social, religious, moral, dental, or nutritional agenda.

It is about kids dressing up in crazy costumes (something they cannot do normally, and look forward to all year, frankly), and going door-to-door, in the hopes of getting a bagful of delicious candy. Not glow-sticks, toothbrushes, heath food, tracts, or election campaign literature.

Candy, motherfucker, CANDY.

And if you are one of those people who turn off the lights to discourage the little pagans for religious purposes, when you know full well there are hopeful children looking for fun and the kindness of their neighbors, fuck you.  You're a disgrace to your bloodline.

Halloween candy. Learn it. Live it.

Pass it on.
You're welcome.


Stella
seven and a half years ago

Hmm... I dunno. I don\'t think God would\'ve let Jesus go trick-or-treating.

Jesus would go, \"But Daaaaaad,\" and then God would wave a tiny crucifix at Jesus, who would go back to his room with a sigh.

Some time later, Lucifer would climb up to Jesus\' window with two pillow sacks full of candy and gloat. \"See? If you\'d just gone out instead of asking first, you could be down here stuffing your face with obscene amounts of sugar, too. By the way, how do you like my costume?\"

Jesus would narrow his eyes at Lucifer and silently count to ten. \"... You better get that crown cleaned before you give it back to me. And there better not be any thorns missing!

SteveG
eight and a half years ago

Here-here, Mr. C! As a organic Christian (as opposed to the hyper-religious social and political networkers and con artists who call themselves Christians), I\'ve always hated the whole avoidance response of the church towards Halloween. Some of my fondest memories are of haunting the neighborhood and coming home with gunnysacks full of candy, and watching \"Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.\" Jesus would have gone trick-or-treating, for God\'s sake! (I wonder what he would have dressed up as...) It\'s the frakkin\' Pharisees in the pulpit that ruin things for the normal people. Pass me that pack of king-size Twixs, please. And no bogarting the Kit-Kat bars...

Jon L.
eight and a half years ago

Rastafarian Hippie for me

Dutch
eight and a half years ago

For Halloween I\'m going dressed as Santa Claus.